Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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