Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I woke up on top of his counter next to a pot of boiling water and an empty package of ramen... what happened to the ramen, we will never know.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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