i don't like sucking hair
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
They have beer where we have blood.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
Randomize
