Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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