Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
buying booze in bulk is always a bad idea. i wish there was some direct deposit-like system
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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