Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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