I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Randomize
