so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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