I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Randomize
