Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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