Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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