I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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