So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
