pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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