I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize
