Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
We peed together in a dark alley while holding hands. That is a bond that can never be broken.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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