I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
id be glad to
Since you didn't call me back last night, I can only assume that in 9 months you're going to have a child that I'm going to refer to as, "Daddy's little mistake in Miami."
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I could fuck to npr.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Randomize
