Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Randomize
