like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
