This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
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