I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
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