I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
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