OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
