Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
she pinky promised me she was 18
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
