Me too!
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Randomize
