Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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