are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
Sometimes I stick my finger in my own ass and pretend it’s a vagina. I think it’s kinda weird. What do you think?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
