I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
Randomize