O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
Randomize
