dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
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