My nipple is on Facebook.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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