you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
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