she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
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