i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
