I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I believe in your delicious
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
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