I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Anyone who does not know who Paul McCartney is does NOT get to put hands in my pants
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