You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
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