me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Randomize
