White coat. Heels.
God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Just hungoverly hit my funny bone with a hot straightener. Triple threat.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Randomize