So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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