grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
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