Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
