Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
I just found my "random bang list for summer of 2012" that I wrote last night.. It's written on a Plan B receipt. If this isn't irony I don't know what is.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
