why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
you had me at cake vodka
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
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