Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Dude you made a rodeo shot in beer pong won the game then got in the hot tub poured beer all over the side and screamed "hot tub time machine!"...
This hangover makes more sense now
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
