a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
I can't sleep so instead I'm thinking of all the things I would love to do to you right now
That's weird, I usually just count sheep
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
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