if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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