we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
