I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
