Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
